Vacation Living

Howard's Friend, Jack, Enjoys the Laid Back Lifestyle,
and says, "Check-out Somerset Condos."

My wife and I recently left the Howard with my wife's parents (my in-laws refer to him as the "grand-dog") and took a little trip down to Santa Barbara, and then back up the coast to Pismo, Avila Beach, and San Luis Obispo, and then home. It was very relaxing, and made me want to move back to a beach town. I used to live in Santa Barbara before it became yet another extension of Los Angeles. It's still beautiful there, but nothing like it was back in the early 80's - 90's. My old boat is still there, as are many of my old neighbors...somethings never change.

Anyway, seeing the website for Somerset Condos in Greensboro, NC, made me wonder what it's like there. Are any of you familiar with that part of the country? It sounds beautiful and serene. I always like to think of the south as quiet and peaceful, with friendly folk willing to smile back at you. Unlike the west where you're likely to get shot at if you smile the wrong way, but that's the wild wild west for you.

Anyway, if the south isn't like that anymore please don't burst my bubble. I have somewhere to dream about when I hate my life. If Somerset Condos is still around when I'm old and rich enough to retire, I'll be the senile old man down there muttering about cheerleaders playing their music too damn loud.

Curbside Appeal

Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. These are the relatives I just got back from visiting. Kidding!

Taking the week off

I am taking the week off from blogging, i will leave you this nice story.
PS: This is not the dog in the story.


I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a kind soul working in the dead letter office of the U.S. Postal Service.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to Heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in Heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her, you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to Heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter. Yes, I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, "To Meredith" in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, "When a Pet Dies." Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays In your heart. Abbey loved being your dog.

Since we don't need our bodies in Heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.

I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I am wherever there is love.

Love, God

By Popular Demand

Since you were requesting it, here is a video of our neighbors. Okay, well, maybe not OUR neighbors, but the music and dancing are identical. Be sure you turn the volume all the way up to get the full effect.

The Perfect Cheer

Ready? Okay!

I am a snotty cheerleader
The world revolves around only me!
My parents taught me I was a princess
I am the monster they created me to be!

My neighbors hate me
I practice with my friends!
I play my music way too loud
The party never ends.

I am so popular
my beauty is no match!
My neighbors can just stuff it
at least I'm not in foreclosure with the latest batch!

This house I'd never own
because I am too good
I'll make my future husband
take out an even bigger loan!
Shut-up? No way!
If you could you know you would!

ARM's? What's that?
Brown lawns next door?
Who cares!
My parents pay the rent
so I'm not in their hair.

Ready? Okay!

The "SWEET" Bus

Bubbleproof?

I'm guessing this guy doesn't even know about the Housing Bubble.
I could be wrong...maybe he has a housing blog and travels around the country blogging about the housing market. Right now he's in Bakersfield. He's bitter after his house was foreclosed on, and that he missed out on the bail-out plan. Maybe if he hadn't bought this "SWEET" bus he could have qualified for the bail-out.

Miracle Grow

Before this house is completely foreclosed upon, you will need a machete to get in the front door. Guarantee it...mark my word...I'm tellin' you now. Even if I have to go throw Miracle Grow on it to prove my point.

Reflections of Real Estate

Roses are red
Violets are blue
McMansions last year
the price of one now for two!

Howard Will Mock You

Howard does his best impersonation of the real estate market.
Notice the demon-possessed eye.

Stick a Fork in It

McMansions...the other red meat.
Tough and chewy and snaps back at you when you take a bite.
Tastes a little like chicken.

Up for Auction

One of the few houses on the auction block that is not totally thrashed. It has nice wood/tile floors, fireplace, decent sized yard, and in a quiet neighborhood. Needs a little work, but nothing like what's out there in the foreclosure market. I'd buy it, but I'd miss the cheerleaders and the car alarm that goes off every 2 hours on a regular basis.

Low starting bid.

Howard and the 3 Stages of Foreclosure

Howard thinks he is better than the other well known real estate sign dog, as he can do various facial expressions for you depending upon which stage of foreclosure you are in.

Above: Maybe we can sell it for what we owe.

Second stage: Ruh Roh...This isn't looking so good.

Third stage: The auction can have this dump.

the REAL deal

the REAL deal

Is this different from the PIPE DREAMS mortgage companies were pushing a short year and a half ago? Where were the big banners in the heydays that said:

the SHAFT come and get it

Hang-over

From the Modesto Bee

Well let me just tell you what went wrong. Houses went up fast and furious and times were great and people were buying them up like it was the last house being built. Builders were holding lotteries and people were camping out to be the first in line to buy the next over-priced house. Anyone could get a loan. Who honestly thought it would last forever? It was a greedy-shark feeding frenzy. So, what a stupid question. It's like pissing in the wind and asking, "Hey, how did I just get all this piss on me?"

It's only a question someone drunk or high would ask. So now people are finally waking up from the stupor of living high, wide, and handsome off of loans that they could not afford. This is going to be one long hang-over.

Coffee anyone?